0

Bookmark and Share Stop Trying To Fix Everything

A Mother Seeking...'s site:
www.meredithresnick.org

The night before I left on this most recent trip to be with my father, across the country, as he battles this terrible disease, I tossed and turned in bed, unable to find a resting place for my mind and its active thoughts spiraling far ahead of the present moment. My husband, as he more easily drifted off to sleep, advised,

“Stop trying to fix everything.”

Such a simple thought, but my restless night and in fact my restless life is largely the result of my active mind, a mind seemingly programmed to fix everything. And of course, I can’t fix everything and I know this rationally; this desire leaves me fitful, awake at all the wrong hours and struggling.

Photo Credit

This time in life is presenting me with great opportunities to “stop trying to fix everything” and instead “let go and let the universe.”

Two nights ago, after spending six straight nights sleeping at my dad’s hospital bedside on an unyielding cot, I decided (after much urging from loved ones) to take a night off. I hired a private nurse, and when he arrived and I introduced him to my father, my father quickly replied, “Hi Jeremy, nice to meet you…. You can go now, my daughter is here.” I smiled, but explained to my dad that he was in the capable hands of Jeremy, and that I would be back bright and early the next morning.

My dad looked at me, deeply, and replied, “Okay, but what if I die tonight? I want you here with me when I die. Can you be with me when I die?” Needless to say, my eyes filled with tears and my hear filled with a unique combination of sadness and utter contentment, a mixture I have never felt before. And I realized at that moment that my dad has indeed “stopped trying to fix everything.” He will continue to fight this disease, but in that moment he wasn’t asking me to save him and to fix things, but rather simply be with him when it is time to surrender.

There are many things I can’t fix, but being present for my dad, as he simultaneously fights and surrenders, is something I can do.

May I continue to bring my dad comfort and may I try to teach my children that it is not their job “to fix everything” by modeling this difficult behavior.

 Read » Stop Trying To Fix Everything
A Mother Seeking...'s picture
Published 1 year 8 weeks ago
Category: Lifestyle | Tags: | Referrer: blogstash.com

Recent comments

Web Hosting Free Trial

Dreamhost
$50 OFF ANY PLAN WITH
PROMO CODE: SheToldMe


Or a limited offer, $100 off a 2-year plan!