When tragedy comes into our life it usually refuses to leave. Even when the initial feelings wear off, we are left with underlying feelings and memories that never seem to completely go away. These fears can many times hold us back, but what most ladies don't understand is that embracing these fears can also lead to healing, just in its own natural time.
The fears we have are usually caused by feelings that refuse to dissipate, no matter how many self help books we read or councilors we see. They cause us to change ourselves into conforming to fit these fears and to help us live in a way in which these fears will hurt or bother us less. This change is both sudden and gradual, but the gradual change is the one we must embrace, and the sudden we must let go of.
Here is an example...
After a women is attacked while walking home from work. She may initally feel terrified, helpless and devastated. Though after a year or 2, she may notice that she does things based around avoiding having to remember that one event. She may want to give up a few of her dreams in order to be safe.
Using this example let's identify the parts to let go and the parts to embrace.
1. Inital feelings. These will fade with time. Talking about these feelings to someone you trust or writing them down can make them seem farther away. Treat them as stories more than actual events. Just be careful to not lose sight of the events, but making them feel farther away will help speed up the healing process.
2. Post-Feelings. Be careful to not accept these. These may feel to be very permanent and very hard to get rid of, but know that with time they will also fade. Often times women will become afraid to go out alone or afraid to pursue their dreams that could land them in situations that forces them to be open and vulnerable. Continue on with your dreams, but in a modified way. If your afraid to go out, grab some friends to go with you, or your man, or even talk to your mom or a close friend over the phone while alone.
3. Changes afterward. This is where it may get confusing, if I don't explain it as much as you would like send me a comment and I can email you privately or leave a comment back to help. Some women may find themselves feeling passionate about different career or paths. Independent women may suddenly wish that they could have a man and get married, even though they had no previous intentions of doing do. These feelings are okay! Embrace them, acknowledging these feelings and recognizing that they are okay means starting a new phase in your life.
Moving past a haunting event in your life can be extremely difficult and sometimes seems impossible. Ladies, know that it is possible. It may not happen tomorrow or even a week from now, but with a little time you will heal and be able to live normally, while embracing the change you once thought to be a curse... If you need to talk or would like more advice or books I would recommend that truly will help , comment or email me at kathrynbrkroll@gmail.com. I would love to help and can respond at any time of the day. Stay lovely ladies!